Category Archives: Funnies

The Truth About Stickerburs

With all of the seriousness going around about COVID, the elections, Black Lives Matter, de-funding the police, etc., I’m going to write about something completely shallow, and I hope that it makes you smile.

I hate stickerburs (at least that’s what we call ’em in Texas).

According to the dictionary, a bur (or burr, if you prefer) is a seed that has hooks or teeth. It sounds like something out of a B-made horror movie, doesn’t it?

Apparently, attaching to people and animals is how they get around and make MORE stickerburs. They don’t even have to rent motel rooms or anything. Actually, our clothing and shoes and stuff, as well as animal fur, are kind of like stickerbur motels, but without the hourly rates.

According to Wikipedia, which is never wrong, “Burs catch on the fur of passing animals or the clothing of people. The hooks or teeth generally cause irritation, and some species commonly cause gross injury to animals or expensive damage to clothing or to vehicle tires/”  What the heck? The stickerbur has a member of its family that is like Bruce Banner or something? Like it turns into HULKBUR? I hope I never step on one of those.

“Burs serve the plants that bear them in two main ways,” Wikipedia continues. “Firstly, burs tend to repel some herbivores, much as other spines and prickles do. Secondly, plants with burs rely largely on living agents to disperse their seeds; their burs are mechanisms of seed dispersal by attaching to the outside of animals.” Thus…we are bur motels.

But they repel herbivores??? Have you SEEN my front lawn? No? Well, here it is:

I remember when I was a kid and we lived way out in the country. Sure, I had to kill snakes (only Copperheads, Corals and Cottonmouths, though) and spiders and stuff, but at least I didn’t have to deal with stickerburs!

Sure, the evil second cousin is what we called, “spear grass,” and we could find it on most field trips into the city, but spear grass was lame compared to stickerburs [unless you can throw a piece of spear grass into the back of the person in front of you. If they don’t notice, repeat until they go, “OW! WHAT THE HECK?!”].

Spear Grass

Anyway, since it is my duty to inform you about potentially harmful things, I figured I couldn’t leave out the evil STICKERBUR. If you don’t live in Texas, you probably have no idea what I am talking about. If you actually care, check out the keeper of all wisdom – Wikipedia.

Have a stickerbur-free day and BE SAFE!!

Monroe County Sheriff shares a funny

From Monroe County, NY:

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Beep beep!

Looneytunes-roadrunner

Barber’s retaliation prank on kid is hilarious!

As posted on Facebook, this barber said, “This kid pranked me good last month, so today I got him back…”

True Facts About the Owl

Ze Frank narrates Buzzfeed’s “True Facts” series. Check them out here.